Wise men have said that most of life's joys can be found in the eyes of a child (ok, maybe that was me, but you get the point). 6 years into parenthood, I can definitely attest to that. However, I am met with a challenge that no one ever expects to encounter. I find myself grasping at anything and anyone for insight, for reassurance, for support, for answers in any form. When so much love and joy can be found in those eyes, what do you do when those aren't the only things peering back? What do you do when that sweet baby looks at you and you see illness? When you see struggle? When those 4 year old eyes hold nothing for the longest seconds of your life only to give way to fear? What happens when those eyes won't meet yours anymore? What happens when you just don't know how to help anymore? When your comfort is no longer comforting? Well, I'm no expert, but I can tell you what I've done. First, you get sad and blame yourself for everything. Whether its the vaccinations that he got too many of on your watch, the nights you let him cry himself to sleep (which were only 5 minutes of crying, though it seemed like the whole night), even the drinks you had before you knew you were pregnant. Soon you come to realize that fault really has no place in your current situation, instead, it must be replaced. That space has to now be filled with patience, strength, perserverance, and a type of faith and compassion you never knew existed. It has to be replaced with confidence in your own parenting. It has to be replaced with an absolute inability to accept no as an answer. With the will to fight until you get the answers and treatment your baby deserves. Your next move should be to find other parents to lean on. Ask questions, share answers, and find people who comfort you through their own experiences. The last step, or at least the one I'm on now, is to research your child's education. Talk to those who will be caring for him, share all you can about him so you and your educators have every sliver of information they can to better teach your child. And perhaps the most crucial of all these, and perhaps the simplest: be there. Every day. At school, at home, everywhere. Kiss him when you can, clap for his small victories, encourage new things and new people, challenge him, pray for him, love your husband, teach others (including his siblings) about him, expect everything and nothing at the same time, praise him, teach him about others, have special days with him,have normal days with him, watch him while he sleeps, sing to him, tell him you love him as much as you can and require that he do the same. As parents, we all want basically the same things for our kids: happiness, healthiness, prosperity, success, as little struggle as possible, and perhaps the most tragic, a life better than our own. Some of those things will happen, some won't, but what's most important is to be peaceful through it all. Roll with the punches and remember that struggle makes us into the unique creatures we grow to be and an amazing person is being born from his struggle as we speak.
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger" -Friedrich Nietzsche
Thanks for listening. Xoxo- S
No comments:
Post a Comment